Meet Timothy Imam Dolan
The de facto Commander-in-Chief of the American Catholics today openly apostatised, officially declaring his abandonment of Christian dogma. Now allegedly moved by Mohammed, he went to visit a local Mosque.
Great was the joy of the still cardinal at being finally able to enter a place considered sacred by the followers of a child rapist. “I thank God that this day has arrived”, said the future Muslim cleric, overwhelmed by emotions after so many years of clearly outdated Tabernacles, Blessed Virgin statues, and worship of Christ and the Holy Ghost as God.
Mr Dolan, now slated for a position of high responsibility among New York Muslims, officially announced his abandonment of Christianity, explicitly saying that Muslims and Christians believe in the same God.
After the future Imam’s official betrayal of Christ, commenters are divided among those who think he is a retard and those who think he is simply a prostitute, with the second faction apparently prevailing for the time being. Sudden insanity has been excluded, and the still cardinal was reported to eat with the usual appetite today.
The new Imam has given a short outline of what he thinks leads to salvation: love of marriage and family, or children and babies is what saves. The Truth, the Way and the Life are clearly, to him, past sell-by date.
Coherently, he has called for Muslims not to lose their faith. Otherwise they might – God forbid! – become Christians…
The new Imam, who has declared Christians and Muslims love “the same God”, is on record for thanking the Muslim for letting him feel “part of the family”, and his blatant denial of the divinity of Christ and the Holy Ghost persuaded everyone.
Today, Timothy Dolan denied Christ, and truly became part of the Muslim family.