HHS Mandate: Sebelius Has Her Back To The Wall, Seeks Face-Saving Exit

Support for Sebelius was very vocal in Illinois.

You read here today’s CNA article about the latest turn in the HHS mandate story.

The translation in proper English is as follows:

“Dear voters, we are more and more scared this will be the undoing of us. You see, we have tried a very strong stance at the beginning, but this wouldn’t work. Seeing we were driving against a wall at great speed, we have invented a “compromise” that wasn’t such, and have tried to sell it to the gullible; of whom we know there is a great number, because we are in office.

Unfortunately, the “compromise” tale didn’t work, and now things are getting really scary. Every week this remains at the centre of the public opinion, votes get lost. We need them, you know. And we need all Catholic votes we can get, because we are enough in trouble as it is. We thought the Catholic population would follow us after we say a couple of words about “women’s right” (it works, generally, quite well) but the bishops wouldn’t accept it and started making such a mess. Like, unfortunate, really. We tried to explain to them what Catholicism says about contraception and abortion, but those people are so stubborn, they don’t even listen to America magazine. I mean, like, really?

We have discussed about this with the Prez, and we have decided we don’t think this is going to go away, or so he read from the teleprompter. I agree with the teleprompter,erm, the Prez, though. I mean, this is going to, like, hurt.

At this point, there’s no other choice than to start preparing an orderly retreat. No rout, of course. We’ll go back in installments, and try to look as good as we can in the process. If the mess ends, we will be able to go back to normal at any time, anyway. If it doesn’t, it is better to start opening the emergency door now.

At the beginning, we’ll continue to say we’ll give contraceptives to everyone, and “women rights” will not suffer, and we want only discuss how the mandate can be improved. We’ll show ourselves ready to listen. Concerned. Paternal, even. But we’ll pave the way for those “improvement” we’ll be forced to concede anyway. As to the cows, we’ll tell them something to keep them happy. We don’t need great skills to do that. The cows are very gullible.  Like, I mean, they’ve elected us, right?

So what I’ll do now is to say I want to , like, “listen more” (or some such thing; it goes down well, you know). Then I’ll wait and see, and if the mess goes on we’ll have to talk with the Prez and see what he thinks. Damn, it’s always so difficult when the teleprompter is broken, though…

I know you won’t be very pleased, my dear “wymyn”. But you see, I have my back to the wall and no intention to be shot at until November. We’ll have to make compromises. Real ones, this time.

The Prez told me the same. Like, I mean, reading from the teleprompter”.

Mundabor