The Great Mundabor Pageview Contest

The world’s way to “Mundabor’s blog”.

Today is our Jubilee extra festivity and I have a lot of time to waste. Therefore, I have decided to write something about the curiosities of my statistics tables. Take it seriously, because it isn’t.

Like (I think) every blogger, I can’t avoid sniffing my statistics at times. Besides the obvious human curiosity, I am intrigued by the degree of penetration of Mundabor’s politically incorrect message in any particular country, that is: how many pageviews per, say, 1,000 inhabitants I get in, say, 30 days. Let us see, then, how things stand as we write the 5 June 2012.

Unsurprisingly, English-speaking countries top the absolute numbers list: in the last 30 days I got (as I write) 14,232 pageviews from the United States, 9,170 from the United Kingdom, 1,786 from Canada and 1,667 from Australia. If we calculate this per 1 million inhabitants in 30 days I get: 45.4 for the United States, 152.8 for the United Kingdom, 51.3 for Canada and 72.4 for Australia. This means Canadians and even Australians are more likely to be followers of your humble correspondent than those living in the Home Of The Brave, and the loyal subjects of the Queen solidly lead the provisional table of the Mundabor-clicking countries.

But then, the surprises begin: Germany has 8.55 pageviews per million inhabitant and 30 days. In part this is due to many Germans  mastering English rather well (well: “vell”), though I wonder whether British expatriates do not play a role here. Even more surprising is Italy’s 9.11, as not so many Italians speak English well (including myself, of course) and the expatriates’ presence is certainly not very big; though there are still, I think, some American soldiers.

More surprises: Sweden has a staggering 38; which – considering Christianity is almost unknown over there, and Catholicism basically resting on the odd immigrant – leads me to think they are either looking for pictures, or else they think “Mundabor” is the title of some indecent film. They can’t be clicking whilst drunk, though, because this would be far too expensive.

Belgium is, with 30.7, also a big surprise. I have written a couple of times about Belgium (see my shocking experience in Bruges), but I have decided to put this extremely good number down to frustrated Belgians who have the pockets full of paedophile priests and stupid prelates. They make wonderful chocolate, too.

Other countries disappoint: Russia has a dismal 0.87 pageviews per one million inhabitants every 30 days and I am really, really angry at them. Of course, this might be due to poor English and scarce internet connections in their immense  countryside, but I truly think they should drink less vodka and click around more sensibly (I am fully unconcerned about this, mind, as I have already told you they barely ever click my pages).

Pleasant surprises come from some rare Muslim countries, probably because of the numerous expatriates living there, or perhaps because they are attracted by my beautiful depictions of the child-rapist bloody bastard they keep calling “prophet”. What shall I say: it’s a good thing this blog is anonymous. Let us see the numbers: Qatar has a more than respectable 11.6, the United Arab Emirates 13.9 (which puts both of them ahead of Germany and Italy), and the “Abode of Peace” (this is how Brunei calls itself) a rather staggering 282.5, which puts them solidly at the top of the provisional ranking of Mundabor-loving (or at least: clicking) countries. Please compare with the 1.15 of Saudi Arabia, and I thank those courageous (probably expatriates) people who risk losing the odd limb in a dirty dungeon after being found clicking my blog whilst the Foreign and Commonwealth Office invites the Saudis to negotiations (the US citizens must be, on the other hand, rather safe…). Please delete every trace of your visits here, folks, and use a proxy if you can.

Venezuela also disappoints with exactly 1, which is a pity considering all the beautiful women they have, and must be due to Chavez making of them such paupers they can’t afford the fast internet connection my image-laden site requires. Talking of beautiful women, the Czechs behave rather better with an excellent 20.4, certainly helped by the good knowledge of the language.

Israel fares rather well with 14.4, whilst their soon-to-be-bombed friends in Iran disappoint with 0.03 (zero point zero three) pageviews per 1 million inhabitant and 30 days. This lets Saudi Arabia appear a modern democracy, and I suspect my blog isn’t much loved by the local internet watchdogs. Take this, you bastards…

Speaking about angry Muslims, Denmark has a surprisingly high 40.9, and in the absence of any widespread Catholicism there I do think many of the clicks come because of the (yes, you got it right) paedophile bloody bastard… 

But I am boring you, and you will have been wondering for a while (if you are still here, of course) which country is the winner of this extremely relevant, heart-stopping, planet-changing competition. I will not leave you in this unbearable state of suspense anymore, and the winner is……

……………….

……………….

……………….

is…..

………………..

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………………..

is……

The Stato della Citta’ del Vaticano, or Vatican City State, with all of 10 pageviews in the last 30 days out of an official population of…. 832, including the valet and all the leakers. This gives our friends, if my calculations are correct, the staggering number of 12,019.2 pageviews per 1 million inhabitants per 30 days. This is – statistically – the same as having 3,762,009 pageviews from the United States in 30 days. My thanks go here to the Duce, whose  far-sightedness was decisive in allowing me the achievement of such an astonishing statistical number.

That’s it, folks:  I have given you a glimpse of the statistical life of a minuscule, but bravely fighting blog, and hope I haven’t bored you too much.

One day we will conquer Iran, too.

Mundabor

Posted on June 5, 2012, in Traditional Catholicism and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Fascinating stuff, Mundie. I think I am one of the posters who sometimes irritates you. Sorry about that, but I am a loyal reader. It is you who makes me aware of so much intrigue in our One, Holy, Roman, Catholic and Apostolic Church whatwith the Vati-gate II, the SSPX, etc…

    I hunger for cameraderie of viewpoint and I get it from you. I sense you are either late 50s, early 60-ish. You are wickedly astute in your observances of mankind.

    I love your generalizations about the various “races”. You forgot to mention how much traffic comes from Poland, the land of my forebears and what must certainly be one of the most grounded, pious, generous, hard-working peoples of all of Europe. They HAVE NOT experienced recession there! Yes, even there the faith is faltering a little and the abortion rate surprisingly high, but Polish Christians soldier on…and did you know that they mention Italy in their national anthem? The Poles have always loved Italy and many of their towns had been laid out in the Italian style.

    I just thought of something that made me smile–Russians consider “wodka” the “tears of Jesus”!

    Thank you for all you are doing to make the Catholic Renaissance come sooner rather than later.

    • Thanks Akita-ette and you never, ever annoy me! I was merely a bit confused when “Susie of Utah” wasn’t used anymore…

      Poland: it is now at 439 in the last 30 days. By 38 million this amounts to an excellent 11.5 pageviews per million in 30 days. We must consider here many of the older generations probably don’t really manage English (Russian, more likely?) and more than some many of the young cosmopolitan Poles actually live abroad and therefore inflate the statistics of other countries (there were 600,000 of them in the Greater London area before the recession).

      Can you tell me some words as to the context of the Italian mention in the Polish national anthem? It really made me proud.. 🙂

      M

  2. Oh, by the way, you mention being cleansed with hyssop in your personal profile. I planted some in my garden yesterday and thought of you. It is a beautiful shrub with beautiful flowers–attracts bees, butterflies and hummingbirds.

  3. Poland is not yet lost
    while we live
    What foreign force has taken from us
    We shall take back with the sword.

    March, march Dabrowski*
    From Italy to Poland
    Under your command
    We will reunite with the nation.

    We will cross the Vistula and Warta Rivers,
    We will be Poles, Bonaparte showed us how to win.

    March, march Dabrowski*
    From Italy to Poland
    Under your command
    We will reunite with the nation.

    Like Czarniecki to Poznan, after Swedish annexation,
    We will come back across the sea to save our motherland

    March, march Dabrowski*
    From Italy to Poland
    Under your command
    We will reunite with the nation.

    Father, in tears, says to his Basia: “Just listen,
    It seems that our people are beating the drums.”

    March, march Dabrowski*
    From Italy to Poland
    Under your command
    We will reunite with the nation.

    *General Jan Henryk Dabrowski is regarded as a Polish national hero for his part in Tadeusz Kosciuszko’s rebellion against Russia in 1794; he later organized and commanded the Polish legions in Napoleon’s army.

    Copyright © 2004 Krykiet.com

  4. Mundabor,
    so Cardinal Burke is reading your blog regularly, about twice weekly… no surprise.

    As Akita-ette has commented about “remembering Mundabor”, I have to make my “Mundabor-remembering” confession too. I cannot help thinking of your blog when I attend a traditional Latin Mass (on sundays). I hear “Asperges me, Domine, hyssopo et mundabor…”. I just cannot help myself. The more I try to forget about it, the less I am able to… 😉

    • Ah, but this is good! I must say I can’t avoid doing it myself… 😉

      As to the cardinal, I’d have thought “Paolino” was rather my reader, but as the pageviews have increased since his arrest perhaps not… 😉

      M

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