Tomato Outed As Christian By Muslim Group

A group of Muslim fanatics has warned their followers not to eat tomatoes. Tomatoes are, they inform us, “Christian”.

The proof is here:

Heroic fruit.

I am rather a sympathiser of the humble tomato, a fruit you can find very often on my table. Add to this that – like every other Italian worthy of the name – I often prepare the sugo for my pasta, and the word is in Italian, in practice, synonymous with tomato sauce.

Still, much as I appreciated tomatoes I did not know they had such marked Christian virtues. I tremble at the idea of the immense quantities of tomatoes which might now fall victim of this latest expression of Islamic genius. I had not laughed so much in tomato matters since the tomato joke Uma Thurman says to John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.

Thinking of it, I have some tomatoes in the fridge just now. I think I will eat one or two for dinner (in the usual, traditional Italian way: some salt, some olive oil, and nothing else) and cry “Deus le Volt” and “Jerusalem or death” before every mouthful. This way I will help the humble, but very useful tomato to consolidate its Christian credentials.

Next time you eat a tomato, think of these Muslim idiots. It will taste even better.

Mundabor