Meet Catholic Grima Wormtongue
Good day! May I introduce myself? My name is Grima, Grima Wormtongue, and I am at home in most fora and blogs, particularly the conservative ones.
I feign a sincere interest for orthodoxy, and will miss no occasion to tell you how much I care.
This will allow me to express – in those conservative fora where openly progressive positions would be mercilessly attacked – an utterly heretical agenda – because between you and I, this is what I am – under the cloak of love for orthodoxy.
I am permanently “worried” of “schism” if Popes were to insist on the restoration of proper Catholicism. Actually, my presence is made most clear by the use of this very word. Whenever women priests, contraception, abortion or homosexuality are discussed, I will piously oppose any tightening of screws with my pious concern that more souls might in this way go away from the Church. You see, in this way I subtly make us – the heretics – the metre of what can or cannot be done, should or should not be said. It is great fun to observe how the conservative forum readers always take the bait, and do not even think of questioning my motives. Ah, how many times I have enjoyed this little game, coming down heavily on the defenders of Catholicism with my “worries”. I never attack them openly, you see, as this would alienate me the big troops of the orthodox; rather, I depict the tragic consequences of every attempt to return to sound Catholicism in such frightful terms, that my opponents (whom I never openly call so, but are really the enemy) look by contrast like dangerous children playing with fire.
This method of ” condemnation by contrast” I use at every occasion. My extremely pious harmlessness will let you appear violent, my ostentatious love of peace a warmonger, my insisted “pastoral concerns” an insensitive train wrecker. All the while, though, I will appear as one of yours, merely a better one. Oh, the fun I have!
If anyone were to show he can see through my little game, I would show one of my specialities, in which I have achieved a high level of proficiency: passive-aggressiveness. You should see me answering to my opponent that I am hurt, but not really offended (because he is so insensitive); I might even, in that fake-humble way of mine, forgive him and thus firmly take the moral high ground; in the worst cases I will even inform him I will pray for his intentions, which never fails to achieve some results.
Irascible people are also a favourite weapon of mine. I will provoke them in a polite, but very open manner, thus causing a tsunami of accusations to be moved against me; this is my moment, and I will instantly jump on the cross and nail myself to it, showing to all the forumists my outstretched arms and loving, if atrociously suffering, attitude.
I never attack openly. If I don’t like your arguments (which I won’t) I’ll say it is “sad” you think so. My every move will be aimed at letting you appear a bully, then since childhood I never could stand on my own, or accept a fight like all the other boys did. In time, I learned to fight with the weapons of a woman; you won’t fear my fists, but you will soon notice my nails aren’t fun, either.
This is how I fight my fight on the Internet, as sneaky and subtly as I do in life. I never manage to con the awake and alert ones, but I will manage to influence enough of the others to make it worth my while.
There are many Grima Wormtongues on the Internet. Look a bit closely and you’ll discover we are everywhere.
Next time you are on a Catholic forum or blog, say hello to Catholic Grima.