The Kasperite , The Bishop, The Cardinal, And The Sacraments

 

Good day. May I introduce myself? I am a Kasperite.

I am, you must know, in rather high spirits since Cardinal Kasper's latest interview. It is evident – as the Cardinal is such a good chap – that Francis really thinks 50% of the marriages are invalid. Which clearly, clearly includes my “marriage” with my former wife. It's obvious. I feel it. Sensus catholicus, you know…

Look, I was only 28 then, she merely 27. At 28, what do you know? Yeah, I get you: I would be outraged at the idea I can't vote or drive at 18 because I am immature, and should be made to wait at least until I am 30 for both.

I should not be allowed to buy a house or a car either, you say; buy an insurance plan; sign for the Military; in short, take any sort of long-term commitment that influences the rest of my life; but that's different, you see. I mean, I spend inordinate amounts of time reflecting about for which party to vote, and which house to buy; or which insurance, or car; or which profession to choose; but our marriage, that was made on the spur of the moment, you see. We wanted the romantic church ceremony, you know. I mean, how immature is that?!

My actual wife wants one too, by the way. I'll have to deliver on this, or it will be Ice Age in HD in the bedroom.

So, what was I saying? Oh yes: our marriage (my first one) was most certainly invalid.

Yep. There can be no doubt about that. Or do you doubt the Pope? It's clear the Holy Ghost inspires him.

Therefore, what needs there is now to bother the sacra rota, and face costs to boot? Hey, if the judges of the sacra rota aren't as enlightened as our Humble Pope, they might even falsely declare that an obviously invalid marriage – which is clearly the thinking of the Pope – is not invalid! What a tragic mistake this would be! In the age of mercy, do we really need that? Come on!

No, I said to my second (erm, I mean…) wife: let's do it differently. Let's pretend – just because the Church has not become as enlightened as Francis – that I am still in a “valid” marriage, and let us go through whatever motions the Bishops decide after October. Yeah, there will be something about repentance, I think; sinfulness, or such like. Old Church things, you know. Then we will be fine, and will be able to receive communion in front of all the neighbourhood.

But no, wait, my first marriage is invalid (I know it!) so there is no need to wait for October!

I mean, it's clear the Cardinal knows the Church is just putting old-style obstacles between the faithful and Christ. He is trying to help as he can! As is the Pope! Yep, it's pretty obvious.

Think of the phone call. The Pope has spoken. The woman can take communion somewhere else. I mean, we can't all phone the Pope, right? The woman's case applies to me too, so the Pope's answer is also meant for me. OK, we have a decision then: next Sunday we will both be in the communion line, receiving in the hands. Not in our neighbourhood, though. Ratzinger-like, rather. For now at least. One step at a time.

Perhaps after October they will allow us something in the church, too? A “ceremony”, or a “blessing”? I mean, I have “repented”, right? 😉 . Why not? Didn't Francis say something about not judging, field hospital, not having certainties, all that stuff?

My wife (I mean, the second one; that is, actually, the first? Right? Gosh, it's complicated…) told me she demands a ceremony in a church at some point, or we will both convert to Anglicanism. I know, I shouldn't do it. But you know how women are, right? In the end, can it be that Jesus thinks where I marry is more important than my marriage? What's the difference, anyway? If I had been born of Anglican parents I would be an Anglican now. I know it for a fact. So in the end it's just a matter of politics. Hey, I could receive communion at the local CoE church every Sunday. Consecration and all. Even the chalice with the wine. It's like Catholicism without the wrong bits! I like the idea a lot, but my mother says she thinks it's stil a sin, and that I might put (she thinks; not sure) my soul in danger.

Ha! Old women!! She still believes actual, regular people go to hell! Well at least she thinks she heard so. It was a long time ago, though. She stopped attending in the Seventies, short before getting pregnant with me. She and Pa married in church, but it had to be very fast. Isn't it funny? She never told me her marriage was invalid, nor did Pa. Come on, Ma! You.were.pregnant!

So that's what I'll do. From next Sunday, we drive two neighbourhoods away and take communion. Then we wait for October. Then we go through the motions of having sinned, etc. Repentance galore 😉 as to the wedding, when my wife gets so angry I get no sex, it will be either an alternative ceremony or the Anglicans. Yes, Siree!

Anglicans are like Cardinal Kasper, you must know. They don't make all that fuss.

What did you say? Eating my own… WHAT? Steady, boy, this is not charitable at all. Not charitable at all! I think you should apologise!

Of course I would receive communion perfectly all right! No sacrilege at all! Please stop with that drivel about hell! God slaps us in the twist at most! The Pope said so himself!

Look: I have no doubt that my marriage is invalid, and I have no doubt my communion is valid. If I were to convert to Anglicanism, I know that would right too. I feel it, OK?

Well if you ask, YES! It means the Truth has changed! Didn't you read the Pope? Can't you see we are in a new time of mercy, at the dawn of a New Tradition? And by the way….(How does the Pope say it? Oh, yeah…)

Who are you to judge?

Mundabor

 

Posted on May 12, 2014, in Catholicism, Conservative Catholicism, Traditional Catholicism and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. This Kasperite is definitely the properly instructed catholic of our times. He knows a lot about Catholicism , even about the Holy Communion , the Sacra Rota , the Hell etc etc .Maybe he forgot the Confession , but noone knows everything ,isn’t it true ? Cardinal Kasper would be very proud of him , he remembers Jesus , and the Bishop of Rome would for sure judge that he can sentire cum Ecclesia pretty well. However , in sight of the October Synod , I’d think that for this man not a CoE , but an Islam -like solution would be the best : maybe not four (too many , and too expensive for him ,probably ) but two or three wives simultaneously , better if women of different ages ,ah ,eh ,no ? Kasper is right ,being heroes is too much for the average modern Catholic , and the Church must adapt itself more to the modern society and ecumenically dialogue with other religions. Isn’t Islam mushrooming in Great Britain at present like no other religion ? Couldn’t the Bishops’ Conference of England find simpler solutions for divorced and remarried than the Sacra Rota , at least in the future ?

  2. In the USA, one way to change the Constitution (which is the supreme law) is to hold a “Constitutional Convention” with representatives from around the country. This has always been described as being risky, because once convened, the convention members can do anything they want. I suspect the same might be true for October’s synod, so the changes they make will not be limited to only one topic.

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