Ten Profound And Serene Sermon Suggestions For Busy Popes

1) Environment

The planet is the greatest gift God gave us. No, forget Christ’s Sacrifice on the Cross. I mean the planet. Why would Christ be so important? Salvation, you say? Ah, eh, but if we follow our conscience we are all saved, no? 

Now, little children, pay attention: God forgives everything, no? Adultery, fornication, apostasy, heathenism, everything! But Creation, Creation will not forgive you! Ha! Think of it, when you pluck a flower, no? 

2) Goodness. 

We must be good. Because to be good is better than to be bad, no? And we are all bad at times, eh? But then we meet some profound and serene theologian, and then we can all go to communion, no? 

3) Holy Ghost 

The Holy Ghost is holy. Very holy. He is holy and He is a ghost, I think, which is why we call Him the Holy Ghost, no? We must listen to the Holy Ghost, little ones! When people tell us: “no, don’t listen to the Holy Ghost! There could be trouble in store!” We must answer: “eh?”.  I mean, we must answer: “no, don’t close the door to the Holy Ghost! He would remain out! In the cold!And the rain! Without even an umbrella! 

4) Angels 

We are superior to angels. They are inferior to us, no? No, really, children: take it from me. You see, an Angel can never be at the “outskirts”, eh? And if he is not at the outskirts, how can he be any good? No? We are the centre of everything, no? Yes, take this from me again! Well, then… 

5) Time of Mercy 

We live in the time of mercy. Mercy is good, no? Mercy is better than revenge, eh? We are all in need of mercy, at time. Some of us have counted their rosaries, and others live with their concubines, no? This is not good, eh? I mean, the rosary? They have sent me more than 3,000 of them! Counted! Please, don’t laugh! 

Mercy also mean we can all have our little slips, no? Like a bit of sodomy, eh? But if you have a good heart and follow the Lord, who am I to judge?* (*© Francis 2013). 

6) The Four Last Things 

I can never imagine God would do more than slap us on the wrist, no? I mean, come on! Seriously? 

7) Social Justice

There are so many poor around! Being poor is good, but not being poor is very, very bad! Being poor is good, but it is bad that there are the poor, no? I mean, make poverty history! ¡Hasta la Victoria siempre! In South America we are very strict on social justice, and look ar how prosperous we are! 

8) Doctrinal security. 

Doctrinal security is very bad, because it attracts people who count rosaries, no? It also offends people of other faiths, or none, eh? We all offend at times, but we must not do it, hey? People who count rosaries are bad. Doctrinal security is good only if you aren’t too sure, no? If you really must say it, say “I think I am sure”! It’s better when we all get along, no? 

9) Judging. 

We must not judge. We must not do like the Neo-Pelagians, Restorationists, Old Maids, Flight Assistants, Pharisees, Rosary-Counters, Joyless people, people who pray by rote, unsmiling Catholics, Catholics with excessive doctrinal security, and gossipets. All these people have no faith, and we must not be like them, because to be like them is to be judgmental, no? 

10) Sodomy 

There are bad things in the Vatican, no? I mean, Leprosy! But if one is gay (yes, I said “gay”) and seeks The Lord, who am I to judge, hey? And they don’t go around with ID cards, no? But it’s bad, bad! My friend the Monsignor described it to me in detail! Boy, it was ugly! 

Mundabor

 

Posted on May 22, 2014, in Traditional Catholicism. Bookmark the permalink. 30 Comments.

  1. Devil speaking, ” Mundabor, you would make a bundle of money as a ghost writer for a pope, or even a cardinal. You could get into all those pictures and videos with the pope, and the pretty boy heir apparent to whatever. Don’t close the door on the spirit.”

  2. prudentissima

    Something tells me St. Michael Is not amused by his comments on the Angels. Sancti Angeli, orate pro nobis. He cannot be reading the Vulgate Bible. Either that or he espouses some other god.

    • Jesus’ claim that he could call on legions of angels seems rather strange if angels are not enormously superior to human in almost everything. Of course, God became human and not angel, and angels do not have access to the Eucharist. But they are in the presence of God directly.

      A single angel was sent to exterminate the firstborn in Egypt. One.
      I must say, I am impressed.
      Francis isn’t. He must fancy himself very powerful.

      M

  3. I couldn’t stop laughing whilst I was reading this. well done, mundabor!

  4. You are particularely inspired these days. The Holy Spirit (Pentecost) approaching ?

    Rhizotomos
    A Neo-Pelagian, Restorationist, Old Maid, Pharisee, Rosary-Counter, Joyless person, praying by rote, unsmiling gossiping Catholic with excessive doctrinal security.

    Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus imperat !

    • Honestly, I don’t believe in these “inspiration” things, and would never dare to assume that the Holy Ghost guides me. It’s hard work, and writing even when you don’t feel like it – or staying awake extremely late and half asleep, like now – because I know that, irrespective of merit, Mary watches and will hopefully say a word for me when the all-important hour comes.

      At times one has more occasion for funny comments, and at times one is only angry.

      M

  5. No fear of Inquisition. For the moment.

    Rhizotomos
    Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus imperat!

  6. Now that, Mundabor, is called doing theology on one’s knees!

  7. I can’t grasp what’s the ‘ finale’ in Bergoglio’s film about the poor and the rich . I’m sure he means that being poor is good spiritually , morally , politically , but not materially. He wants the poor become ‘ relatively rich ‘ materially , for sure at the expenses of the rich themselves. But once the poor have become rich , do they lose the previous superior privileged status ? And the contrary happens with the rich ? Which opinion has Bergoglio of the Apostles , especially the fishermen ? I can’t imagine Peter was rich , but he had a boat to fish . Was it a boat in propriety , or had they a ‘ rent a boat’ system , depending on the amount of fish they caught ? Jesus doesn’t strangely say anything about this issue in the Gospel. Maybe in Bergoglio’s opinion he relied too much on miracles .And what does he think of himself ? He can’t deny he gets the highest salary among Churchmen , otherwise he would fall into the laughable. Will he create ( as he is notoriously very creative , like all those who have a special relationship with the Spirit ) a ‘ movimento cinquestelle ‘ salary system , donating the 75 % to the Church – or the poor , I don’t know . But is he sure all Cardinals and Bishops , especially Kasper and friends ,will accept gladly Bergoglio’s ‘ Church for and to the poor ‘ ?
    I really can’t see a ‘ Kirchenarmutbewegung ‘ in (former) Catholic Germany, but this could mean I have a ‘ kindergarten ‘ faith. The Spirit can inspire everybody everywhere , eh , no ?

    • The apostles very generally very middle-class. A profession, capitals employed, even oen boat.
      Matthew was extremely rich.
      St Joseph was clearly a small self-standing micro-entrepreneur, and probably so was Jesus at some point, because we know he was known as a carpenter and Joseph was dead, so he might have run the shop as sole trader.

      Many other rich people in the Gospel.

      Francis should read more of it and less Kasper.

      M

  8. The “Holy Ghost” thing was just for fun! (We all know what you think about this.)

    Besides, a priest told me once that St Lucas was a doctor (in medicine).

    Rhizotomos
    Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus imperat!

  9. prudentissima

    Hi. This is just a suggestion for you to read something by St. Augustine that is in the breviary. Go to Matins for June 10, 2014 @divinumofficium.org. It is his sermon addressing those who would try to say one can live a good life without being Christians.

  10. OT: excommunication of the founders and chief of Wir sind Kirche
    Rosa

  11. victura1007 .

    One of the temptations that led to the Fall of the Angels was no doubt not just that God would become a man, but that a pope, the Vicar of Christ, would some day call angels “inferior” to men. St. Michael, please excuse our pope for this needless insult.

    He’s almost entertaining at this point.

  12. My response was for Rosa (Einverstanden! = I subscribe!), but the commentaries are all mixing up now, even if one answers per e-mail. This was already the case for another of my comments on this topic. So there is no logic in some answers because the thread of thaught is lost.

    Rhizo.

    • I am amazed anyone would be able to answer by email in the first place! I would have no idea how to do it…

      M

    • When I send a comment to one of your posts, by clicking in the window “Leave a Reply to Mundabor”, I have in addition two buttons. One which says “Notify me of follow-up comments via email” and another which says “Notify me of new posts via email”. I click on the first. Then I receive your answers, and/or the comments of the other readers, by email, generally BEFORE they appear on your blog.

      More : Until a recent date, when I answered by email, I could click on a button directely linked to the reader and there was some logic in the comments. Now, as I said, all is mixed up.

      Rhizo.

    • I have recently started to write many blog post using a different tablet app, after the disgraceful incident of some days ago (see “life of a blogger”). The app is good, but it appears to interact differently with the site, or perhaps it is my fault and there is some setting I have to better adjust.

      I am amazed at how many possibilities WordPress offers. I never used email, I actually never even read the email on which I have set up this blog.

      I will try to get on top of it.

      M

    • Of blogs and of emails

      Two occurencies which I faced last Winter:

      – I had received a quite harsh comment by email on a topic which I don’t remember, but the short comment was typically “Mundabor style”. Then, a bit later, when the text appeared on the blog, it was clearly edulcorated. I wondered how this could be possible but thought that you had a possibility of correcting a text already sent. Nevertheless, this seemed to me dangerous as the original email-text still survives in our email-boxes.

      – Another text, even more “politically incorrect” was sent to my email, but was never released on the blog. Here I thought that you had been bitten by a huge remorse (I’m joking!) and had completely eradicated the text. But still it stays in the emails.

      This just to say that if some day we have to face Inquisition, one must be aware of the technical occurencies of our equipments.

      Rhizotomos
      Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus imperat!

    • Yes, I can edit an answer. Sometimes I do. Sometime I even cancel an answer already written.

      I did not know the answer goes out in an email, but an email is a private communication, which might change things.

      For example, I might write something about, say, Elton John which, on second thought, might be considered libelous. Then I cancel the comment. The email is out, but the email is not a comment published on a blog, merely a private communication, at least in many countries.

      M

  13. Serenely approved by Facepalm University’s Institute of Theology for use in daily papal disinformation and catechism eradication talks.
    Nihil non obstat.
    Signed,
    George Iscariot, SJ, Professor of Heretical Theology at Facepalm University.

  14. Haha, very funny too, Catocon! Congratulations for your astonishing advancement in the NewChurch Teaching Community.

    Rhizotomos
    Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus imperat!

  15. victura1007 .

    someone needs to read this to Bishop Frank, as it especially applies to him:

    My preceptor silent yet
    Stood, while the brightness, that we first discern’d,
    Open’d the form of wings: then when he knew
    The pilot, cried aloud, “Down, down; bend low
    Thy knees; behold God’s angel: fold thy hands:
    Now shalt thou see true Ministers indeed!

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