Daily Archives: June 1, 2014


Dear Editor,

I have read around, inter alia from that nasty Italian blogger, Dealbabor, or something like that, about Pope Francis hiding Christ from the sight of the Jews, lest they be offended; and, thus, denying him in front of the Jews like once Peter.


Partial eclipse of the cross

Here, the Pope tries to extract the pectoral with a supreme effort, unusual for a man of his age.

 I am flabbergasted. Totally flummoxed. Still, particularly that Italian guy really lets me go into conniptions. In virtue of my role, I feel obliged to write a public answer to this nasty little Italian chap, Dealbabor, or whatever his name is.

Nasty little bastard!






Who is he to judge?

We all know how easy it is for a big, heavy pontifical pectoral to go and jump behind a Pope’s fascia!

We have seen it all the time. The net is, in fact, full of pictures of BXVI’s and JPII’s (let alone Pius XI’s and Pius XII’s) pectorals happily bouncing around, and hiding themselves behind some papal accoutrement with great energy and presence of spirit. Google it for yourselves. I am really full of it. I mean, the Internet is really full of it!


Partial eclipse of the Cross. Not sure if Francis helped the Rabbis to cook kosher.

Here, the Pope tries to starve the rebel pectoral; without success.The Rabbis follow the struggle with great interest. On a patriotic note, the mineral water is Ferrarelle. Excellent Italian choice, dear Rabbis!

You see: pontifical pectorals are not like any other pectoral. They have a life of their own. They just bounce around! Like kitten playing with the knitting wool ball. Like crickets after a double espresso. Like fleas at the sight of the taxman!

And they are very shy, the pontifical pectorals are. As shy as little children. When they see these severe Rabbis, with their ugly big beards on their ugly big faces, all dressed in black, obviously they will want to hide behind papa like a little child! Wouldn’t we all? Is it so difficult to understand?

Don’t we all know, all of us, that when a pontifical pectoral cross has become unruly it is notoriously difficult to take it out of wherever it has put itself? This, of course, at times forces the poor Bishop of Rome to meet his interlocutors with his crucifix well stuck, or even completely hidden, in the recesses of his habit! It forces him, d’you understand?  It stands to reason! Sheesh!

Granted: what a pity, that this should happen just as the Pope wanted – as is, I do not need to tell you, his first duty – bring Christ to those “with the wrong faith” (“wrong”: per; “faith”: fides; “with the wrong faith”: perfidus; successively, and by extension: “treacherous”, “betraying people’s faith in him or her”).

And in fact, this Pope is well-known and universally praised for his strenuous defence of extra ecclesiam nulla salus, and for his relentless fight against the moral relativism of our times. But you know that already, so I don’t even know why I am wasting time telling you that…

Oh, how Francis always thunders against those who believe that God’s Covenant with the Jews is still valid for them, and they therefore do not need Christ being brought to them! With what energy does this enlightened Pontiff quashes the blasphemous assertions of those who believe that atheists can be saved if they die in their atheism, provided they are in good faith! Have you not noticed, pray, his zeal of conversion of his best friend, the Rabbi, to Catholicism? How could anyone – like that nasty little Italian blogger, Dealbabor, or something like that – think that Francis’ sudden de-Christified appearance in front of all the Rabbis might have been anything else than… the product of a stubborn pectoral cross, jumping up and down and understandably afraid of very ugly beards on the face of very ugly men?


The Rabbi on our left looks with suspicion at the friar: “hhmm, Francis is always very kosher, but what is he covering with the hand? A pass? Or a… cross?”

Look: I have once seen a dissenting nun myself: I was also afraid at the sight of her beard! It happens to the best of us!

Seriously. This is so… so… so… uncharitable!

Surely, Christ was not offended? C.o.m.e. O.n.!

That Christ should be offended, who said so very clearly Jews do not need to be converted?! Only the others! I mean, it would be better if they did, wouldn’t it? Do you remember?

“I am one of two ways, one of two Truths, one of two Lives!” It’s so clear!

(Just a sec. Let me check this one on my smartphone…)………




Ahem. (Cough). Nice day anyway, isn’t it?




Oh! Sorry everyone!  Must dash now.

There are pontifical pectoral crosses jumping around everywhere here.

Keeping them in their place is such a stressful job.

Was nice to write to you anyway, Mr Editor.

Yours sincerely

Monsignor L. Iar

Curator Pectoralium Pontificalium



Fading Away

Ugly, I know; but it used to be a church. Now it hosts sheltered housing: the former St Wilfrid's church, Brighton.

Ugly, I know; but it used to be a church. Now it hosts sheltered housing: the former St Wilfrid’s church, Brighton.





In England you see them, if you pay just a bit of attention, everywhere: former churches. 

Big and small, with or without bell tower, monumental or demure. They are transformed in cottages, flats, community spaces. At times the original purpose of the building is evident,mother times it is more or less heavily disguised. But they all tell the same story: here used to gather a Christian community, that has now vanished. Very many of these churches are, from what I can see, Protestant. 

Do not delude yourself into thinking that the community has now enlarged, and has moved into bigger premises. They have just vanished as the old generation went to its judgment, and the new did not believe in any judgment not delivered by a television “jury”. 

Last time I looked, Sunday church attendance for the so-called Church of England was at 3%. This number alone says it all. The official 25 or more million Anglicans in the country are, officially, a joke, and among the Methodists it’s even worse. 

Where the official count says that there should be millions of Christians, there is a huge hole, filled with nothing. Or better said, filled with senseless do-gooders living in a world of easy emotions, and fully persuaded of their own heathenish goodness.

 They run “against this”, cycle “against that”, jog “against that others”. They make clown of themselves, as if there were any merit, let alone dignity, in that. They wear red noses or pink bras (as men; yes, they do) and think they are “making a difference”. 

They aren’t. Firstly and less importantly, they aren’t because taxpayer-funded (directly or indirectly) or corporate-funded medical research vastly exceeds do-goodism by any standard you would care to find in almost every sector of medical research, and certainly in the basic research. But it’s not even a  matter of numbers. It is (secondly, but most importantly) that a human life is infinitely short compared to an eternity in hell. Therefore, to everyone who lands in hell his having died at 72 or 88 is, to all logical and mathematical purposes, infinitely small and therefore infinitesimally irrelevant.

He probably thinks he is cool.

More and more of these people around.

Is, then, not good to spend money on research? Yes, it is. But don’t make of it a religion, because there are things infinitely more important than when one dies, and for which almost no one cares anymore. Like, say, not going to hell. And for heaven’s sake, stop putting yourself at the crossroads with your freaking pink bra, like a Pharisee on cocaine. 

The left hand must not know what the right hand does. If you went to church, you would know it. And no. You aren’t needed. Or do you think you can add one cubit unto your stature? 

All this is ignored. As churches are transformed into town halls and flats for “modern living”, or in building for a variety of other purposes, “charitable” organisations multiply, and you see all these people – the children and grand-children of those who once would sit in the pews on a Sunday morning – running and cycling, sweating and panting, rowing and skating; all of them with the t-shirt saying to the world how good they are; all of them obsessed with lives ill-spent going on for as long as they can, and uncaring of what must be the eternal destiny of a scary, scary, scary number of people in XXI Heathen England. A country full of people so good, that God to them is a tale, an afterthought, or something for which they have really no time…

As the churches vanish and bells are hears less and less frequently on a Sunday red noses, pink bras and sundry “look at how good I am” t-shirts are everywhere. The old generations were Proddies; but they were Proddies with the fear of the Lord, and an often sincere – if always misguided – intention to live a Christian life, and to die a Christian death. What a difference to today.

Some years ago, the host of the popular UK TV show “Grand Designs”, dealing with the transformation of an old church in a house, said on TV “look, the Lord’s Prayer is on the wall!” as the camera proceeded to zoom on the wall in question. 

It was the Creed. 

This TV isn’t live. It is carefully edited, and made to a rather high standard. We do not know whether there was, somewhere else, really the Lord’s prayer. But the Creed simply isn’t the Lord’s prayer. Still, No one seems to have noticed. 

The basics have gone. Christianity is rapidly fading away even as a mainstream religious flavour. Churches become apartments, or houses, or something else, or are knocked down. Bells are heard less and less frequently. 

But look at that clown down the road; yes, the one wearing the pink bra. And another. And another.

Boy, how they feel proud. 




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