Anti-Terrorism, XXI Century Style
The press has reported that some young Muslim cretins have spread leaflets on London’s Oxford Street, informing their correligionist of peace that a new Caliphate is now ongoing, and the duties of the unfaithful are, among others, to give moolah and, possibly, to move there. All rather neutral, of course, and certainly reviewed by someone versed in law.
The cretins have, though, conveniently omitted to say the “caliphate” appears to be the worst example of mindless homicidal fury since Pol Pot, or the massacres in Rwanda and Burundi in 1994. Perhaps in their mind the locals aren’t dangerous, and – as the owner of the Rottweiler said – they only want to play.
Put down that head.
Those who read the leaflets, though, and were to decide to move there, are certainly in no doubt as to the nature of this new quasi-statual organisation born out of Obama’s senseless “peace and freedom” rhetoric. They are, therefore, moving there with the intention to take part to the jihad in some way or other (say: part-time beheader, or junior massacre operative).
I do not think anyone like that would live in the UK and renounce to give trouble. It is, in fact, very reasonable to think anyone moving to ISIS territory is already a full-blown terrorist mind, waiting for the occasion to spread death on our shores. This prompts in your truly some considerations and a heartfelt, half tongue-in-cheek, half deadly serious encouragement.
Move to Iraq, my violent Arabic friend. Do not stay here in the UK. The weather is horrible, the food mediocre, the cost of living far too high, and half the girls very fat or severely obese. The trains are often cancelled because of “signal failure”, (=copper theft?), the buses drive you to despair, and there’s a speed camera every three blocks. You can’t rape a little girl like your so-called “prophet” did, and the beer is excellent, which is a constant temptation. why live with all that?
Take the next plane to Jordan, my violent friend, and hence bring your sorry Muslim ass to Syria or Iraq. We will need no expensive trials with you; no damn human right lawyers fighting your extradition if you happen to be a foreign citizen; no costly investigations.
A guided bomb will take care of you all right. If will give you what you most crave: being stuffed in the backside, big time, for the sake of the child-raping prophet of yours. Don’t fret: it will all be very fast. You will barely have the time to think “I’m …..”, and you will be already in the next world, where 72 extremely hairy and extremely horny sodomites believe you are the male virgin they have been promised they will enjoy.
Make haste, my violent friend. Don’t delay! Think of how difficult, expensive, and time consuming would be to deal with you here in the UK, where decades of high-security detention would make you cost vast sums. Be a good Muslim, and make it easy for us and for you. I promise you: the end will be swift, and no beheading.
You want to be a martyr. Who are we to judge?