The End Of The Swiss Guards?
The rumour is alive that The Most Astonishing Hypocrite In Church History (TMAHICH) might be about to abolish the Swiss Guards altogether.
I am not sure this rumour has any basis. What I know is that this would be, if executed, very much like Francis: with one stroke, he would do a great favour to the army of sodomites walking around the Vatican – and able to go in and out without too many questions asked by inflexible Swiss soldiers – whilst at the same time looking as the simple, humble pope so allergic to pomp and circumstance.
In addition, you must know that the Swiss Guards are chosen among Swiss families of unquestionable Catholic tradition, and remain in charge only for a limited amount of time. It’s not that they are sent on the sidewalk, or consigned to destitution. The end of the institution would simply deprive them of a great honour and of a wonderful addition to their CV.
Of course, the Gendarmeria would remain. But these are professional policemen, with a family and a mortgage. They aren’t likely to pose too many questions about who goes in or out and, being Italian, they would most rapidly understand where the wind is blowing.
No, the problems of the fags are really the Swiss Guards, as we have seen already in the past (search this blog). In this perspective, it makes sense that the homos ask Francis what kind of useless pomp this one of the Guards is.
The problem is, though, that the Swiss Guards are a rather beloved Roman (in the broader sense) institution, the darlings of Romans and tourists alike. It is not only that they are only a part of the landscape; they are a part of the Roman heart; a bit like like the Corazzieri, the tall soldiers of a Carabinieri elite unit working as Presidential Guard. If, therefore, Francis were to just get rid of them, very many among the people would start to question what kind of mentality, and what kind of man, this is.
You see, when you make the calligraphers redundant (spare a prayer for the poor devils and their families if it really comes to that: unemployment in Rome is always a tragedy, but unemployment as a calligrapher must truly be a nightmare. I have not read any news about that, so I fear the worse) the general public does not really notice it. But when there are no Swiss Guards at the entrance, they notice it immediately.
Perhaps Francis will try some other solution that keeps both the people and the fags happy; like, say, suspending the Swiss Guard service at night so that they are “allowed to sleep”. Insert here some sugary story about how devastated Francis was at knowing about their long night watches in the cold and damp Roman nights, and Bob’s your uncle…
We shall see. There is no feat of which this Pope would be incapable of, if he were to think he has something to gain from it; and his behaviour suppressing the Vatican report on the homos abundantly shows he has protected them from day one in exchange for their help in his election.
Francis is, if not an old homo himself, certainly a man of the homo lobby in the Vatican. He has already removed a commander guilty of being too “Swiss” with his own fags. It remains to see how far he will go.
A dark, dirty, lewd old man, this one. I am pretty sure his ideal of the Swiss Guards is like in the video below. So un-threatening, un-Swiss, and judgment-free…
O dear Pope Benedict, why have you been so gullible…