The Blogging Weathervane

The Blogging Weathervane is a very sensitive guy, or gal. He or she goes with the time. He or she is flexible, caring, appreciative. He (henceforward, “he”) is such a good contortionist that he could work in a circus. He is never angry, but devout Catholics truly drive him to distraction. He assaults them. Then he apologises. Then he does it again. And again. And again.

The Blogging Weathervane never said, during Benedict’s pontificate, that faggots have special “faggot gifts” that they can give to the Church. He never criticised Benedict as insensitive for not supporting communion for adulterers. He never wondered why JP II never received a Trannie in a “private” audience. He never thought out loud whether God would, when seriously displeased or offended, do more than slap a sinner on the wrist. He thought it normal to try to convert people to Catholicism. He was always in tune with the official Vatican song of the week.

Turns out, he still is. He always is.

The Weathervane will explain to you that the black of today is the same as yesterday’s white, only a bit different. A more personal white, perhaps. A tad off-white at times. But still the same colour. Does this shock you? Oh, you have some work to do, buddy boy…

The Weathervane can be told to his face the Blessed Virgin might have thought she was deceived and will blame the translation, the lunar phase, the locusts, and the evil in bad Catholics, but never the Pope.

The Weathervane is morally mobile. He (or she, remember?) adapts. When the Pope slaps the Catholics, he blames them for reacting to the slap. Don’t they understand he makes money out of his writing, ahem, they must read more deeply and understand what the Pope really said?

The Wearhervane will adapt to anything and everything. When the scandalous first draft of the Relatio post disceptationem comes out, he will complain the language is not sensitive enough to “the gays”; then will shut up about, ahem, her blunder as a huge scandal unfolds.

The weathervane (not only blogging weathervane; commenting weathervane, too) is electively deaf, blind, and stupid. If the Bishop of Rome receives a Trannie and his “lover”, whom the Teannie about to “marry”, he says to you that there is no evidence the Pope has not taught doctrine to them. Applying the same logic, if Francis were to be found in a “gay” sauna surrounded by twelve homos there’s no doubt the Weathervane would tell you he was having a catechism class there, there’s no evidence to the contrary, and it is shocking for you to even entertain malicious thoughts.

You got to give the Weathervane credit for one thing: his inability to see anything wrong in the Pope is matched by a great talent for finding fault in those who criticise him. Unchristian, he will call them. Uncharitable. Rigid. Obsessed. Unable to understand the “language” of the Bishop of Rome. How bad they are! Didn’t Jesus always express himself in the most gentle and sensitive of ways? (Uh? No, wait… I’ll come back to you on that…).

Still: pity the weathervane. He may well be paving his (or her) way to hell. He is certainly preparing for himself a very harsh punishment even if he escapes the ultimate one. He will not be allowed to make Truth comfortable for himself and remain, bar repentance and penance, unpunished.

Being a weathervane is a very bad investment with mediocre immediate return and the certainty of eventual bankruptcy. Reading certain blogs around (“Patheticeos” first; there are others) one wonders whether they ever think of it. I honestly don’t think they do. The stats are still fine, and many still are those who flock to them in such of another fix of Catholic opium.

It’s hard not to be weathervane. The wind puts a constant, cold pressure on you.

But it’s the only way.

M


 

Posted on January 29, 2015, in Catholicism, Conservative Catholicism, Traditional Catholicism and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Wow, I may be slow, but I don’t think it was until reading your “Catholic opium” phrase that I compared it to the charge of ecclesial porn which is being peddled about those who look for Truth. The “weathervanes” truly seem to be trying to drug everybody, dull their senses, put them on an LSD trip or a false high. You always give me something to ponder and refine my analogies. 😉

  2. This is as hilarious as it is apt. Thank you for the laugh!

  3. It wasn’t until Pope Francis came to be, that I realised that so many whom I had thought to be committed Catholics, unswerving in Faith and morals, were those who ran with the hate, and hunted with hound.

  4. In other words – A Vicar of Bray.

    “And this is law I will maintain
    Unto my Dying Day, Sir.
    That whatsoever King may reign,
    I will be the Vicar of Bray, Sir!”

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