Fagghiarchy, Or: Some News From The Alphabet Paradise
We get, from a very official source, some insights about the Alphabet Paradise.
In this island of concord and tolerance, the mutually supporting same sex “partners” contribute to a serene atmosphere and to mutual understanding, creating in their own household (though I think some of them love to call it “family”) that environment of inclusion and respect for the “other” they so sorely miss in the cruel, cruel world out there.
“Toxic masculinity”, as they love to call it, is not part of their experience. If they are Romeo and Romeo, they treat each other gently, in a slightly shrill but very cordial voice. If they are Juliet and Juliet, they support each other in their fight against fat phobia and ugly phobia, exchanging tips for reinforced chairs and digestive salts.
It is a world filled with acceptance. Tolerance. Understanding. Non-violence.
Ouch! Turns out, the apostles of tolerance are so violent, they make a drunken, angry Irish daily labourer around 1910 look positively pacific! The figures are staggering, and they are quite a revelation even for us, the normal people!
Look: we knew there must be a reason why the stereotype of the Lesbian is: ugly, acidic, and violent. In a way, the news of their high rate of violent behaviour is not really a surprise, and all those pounds of fat will, once launched in a swing, certainly have an unpleasant effect.
But it is the staggering amount of violence among sodomites that is most surprising.
You would imagine Romeo and Romeo spend half their time whining and bitching at each other with unnaturally high voices, as they frantically gesticulate in an attempted imitation of some old theatre diva. You would think they are pathetic, cringeworthy, utterly embarrassing, but at least peaceful.
Not so. Apparently, there are a lot of Romeos who actually love to exercise some quite violent piece of, well, fagghiarchy on the other Romeo! I don’t want to know, or even to think about, whether scratches or fists play the bigger role. What is clear is that the violence is there, and it’s absolutely massive.
If I weren’t the absolutely tolerant and inclusive person I am, I would almost think that the devil destroys the lives of these people, and makes of them a living hell, in every aspect of their existence.
Thank God I don’t have the horrible prejudices of those ho-mo-pho-bi-c Catholics!
Imagine the stress and the pain, having to think with your own head!