Woman Marries… Herself!

Accept no substitutes.

Mea culpa. 

I had thought that in a world so stupidly perverted as to even contemplate the possibility of a man “marrying” another man (or a woman marrying another woman) pretty much everything would be possible, like marrying one’s own dog (copyright: Boris Johnson, London’s Mayor).

But in another tragic example of how reality overtakes fantasy, we are now informed a woman decided to marry…. herself.

Whilst the news is reported with the tongue-in-cheek attitude one would expect, I am not entirely sure there isn’t a deep logic in this.

First of all, the thing cannot have been made in jest. Dozens of people invited; eleven-years-old child saying to her mother he is embarrassed for her (good chap; there are hopes) and real, “solo honeymoon” to be paid with real money. Most of all, no sane person would push a joke to this level of insanity. At this point, even if you say it was all a joke no one is really going to believe you.

You might know Proddies have this strange idea of making “marriage vows”, something that always makes me cringe when I see it in movies, and thank God I will probably never be asked to be present to such diabetes-inducing ceremonies. If you want to know , the “marriage self-vow” of the lady in question is  “to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self”. A beautiful example to selfless dedication to one’s own unlimited narcissism, I must say. Or more probably, an indication of a truly  desperate need for a man. But I digress.

The lady in question might, in fact, have hit the bull’s eye. Her boundless narcissism and self-centredness is in nothing different from what we see in poofs and lesbians doing the same.  The only difference is the lady isn’t sexually perverted and therefore lacks the dog, or the “partner”, to stage her little circus.

At this point,  I predict in future we will have women asking to be married to Martin Luther King, or JFK (wait; perhaps that would be less frequent…), or the ever-present Mahatma Ghandi. Whereas men could ask to be married to… no, really, I can’t imagine men doing such things. Unless they’re fags, of course; but then, fags are not real men, merely pathetic caricatures of women exactly like their pretended “marriages” are the caricatures of the real thing. 

I must admit I had never thought of even the possibility of such “self-marriages” happening.

On second thought, though, I am not sure this speaks against me.

Mundabor