The Gayest Fool Of All

 

Let us say, you are a Bishop who hates Christ, for reasons known to you and, possibly, to a restricted number of other men only.

You are obviously terrified at the idea of masses resuming more or less regularly, and faithful Christian receiving on the tongue, as even the Bishops’ Conference of your own Country says you should be allowed to do.

What do you do?

Why, you show yourself oh so concerned for the health of everybody, of course! This allows you to create rules that no one else has and a fuss without precedent, which then makes it easier to justify banning Communion on the tongue.

You might release instructions like this one:

1. The faithful who present themselves for communion on the tongue will be denied communion.
2. Those who want to receive in the only way allowed (the Protestant/ V Ii one) get the following instruction: “Once you leave your pew/chair you will proceed single file (maintaining 6 feet apart) to the distribution point,” Stika wrote. “Immediately before you reach the distribution point you will remove your protective face mask placing it in your pocket and sanitize your hands with 70% alcohol-based sanitizing gel/solution (which will be on a small table directly in front of the distribution point). “Standing on the floor-marked X (or kneeling at the 6-foot marked locations along the communion rail), you will extend your arms and hands toward the priest/deacon with the palm of your non-writing hand facing up and completely flat supported by your writing hand,”

You will, of course, look like a total fag, which will possibly not displease you at all. Still, you will achieve your trifecta of virtue signaling, antagonising the true faithful, and enmity with Christ.

“But Mundabor, Mundabor!” – You might say – “This is too dumb even for satire! No bishop would be as thick as that!”

You would think that, wouldn’t you?

I have bad news for you: read here.