Dry Nurses At Work

And it came to pass on the Day Of Infamy Eugenio Scalfari was among the invited; and, being now a close buddy with the Destroyer, had another substantial chat with him.

We aren't told whether recorders were there this time. They probably weren't, as a recorder would be extremely embarrassing not only for the Bishop of Rome, but for the Church. What transpires, though, is that Scalfari went away from his buddy persuaded he had material for another article; which means that he was authorised by Buddy to put the content of their own friendly chat in print.

Thankfully, the Fire Brigade – or if you prefer, the Dry Nurses – got wind or were informed about the matter, and promptly acted.

Yes, it's the Vatican Press Office here. Yes, it's about the conversation with the Holy Father. No, the printing of any article is not authorised. Yes, this is the last word. Yes, instruction from His Holiness. You're welcome. Good day.

(And it's sad a foreigner can't get the subtle, but very fine irony of the Italian article. But hey, someone must be a foreigner…).

We have come to the point that the nurses must run after Francis as if he were an unruly child making mischief everywhere. They must pay attention whom he talks to, because you never know what may come out of it. They must constantly entreat the child to please behave and stop making such a mess around him. They obviously know – from long-suffering experience – that the man cannot be relied upon one single interview, or even an “informal chat”, that does not give scandal. Therefore, when they can see beforehand what's happening – which is not the case when the man is alone with a telephone – they can at least implore and insist until Francis, always the Jesuit, yields for this time.

It is astonishing to think that only a few days after concubinegate, the man was already planning another urine pool, and it appears – I wasn't there, you know; I am not an abortionist atheist, so Francis' friendship with me is improbable – that only the prompt and decisive intervention of the Dry Nurses have avoided another huge mess.

Pray for the Dry Nurses. They truly need our help.

And pray Francis doesn't call Scalfari on the phone.

Mundabor