Suggestions For My Beatification
Dear readers: at some point I will, like everyone of us, kick the bucket and, hopefully, be sent straight in the direction of Purgatory.
During that time of suffering and atonement, it would be a great consolation to me to know that, on earth, I have been beatified. Beatifications are not infallible, so I do not need to worry, from purgatory, that things aren't exactly like Pope Francis V thinks. I am, also, sure many of you would want to see me beatified; though you don't know anything of my sinfulness; an ignorance that is, in these cases, very convenient.
The way I propose you go about after my departure from this vale of tears is the following: any time something bad might happen, ask for my intercession that it may not happen.
For example, if I were now dead – sorry, but not right now – you could ask for my intercession for any or all of the following:
1. That there is no war over Crimea.
2. That there is no war over Eastern Ucraine.
3. That the conflict in Syria ends.
4. That Chelsea does not lose (half of you; the other half, that it may lose) against Atletico Madrid.
5. Put here three or five of your dangers you ask me to see averted.
6. Repeat the following day.
You will, then, soon notice a lot of these dangers have not transformed into the feared tragedy. You have asked me for intercession, and what was feared has not happened. If this is not a valid cause for beatification, I don't know what is, do I?
At this point, you will have tons of material to push my cause.
I am confident that, as similar causes are swiftly advancing, with your help I will reach the coveted prize still in the very first phase of my permanence in Purgatory.
“Blessed Mundabor Of Blogdom”.
Yep. Sounds good.
You don't need to start now. Wait that this blog has suddenly stopped publications for some months first. Then start with everything you can:
“That road crossing is dangerous; oh Mundabor, pray for me that I may not have a car accident in it!”
I see myself in the company of soon-to-be Blessed Paul VI already.