On The Proper Behaviour By The “Sign Of Peace”: A Semi-Serious Instruction.

Apr 14

Posted by

Prompted by a recent comment, I thought it useful to give a semi-serious – in this blog everything is worth a smile, but everything is deadly serious – instruction about what I think is the proper behaviour at the dreaded moment of the “sign of peace”.

I propose three scenarios, and the appropriate behaviour for them.

1. You refuse to give the sign of peace. You are immediately branded as a dangerous Neo-Pelagian. An enemy of Vatican II. A Franco follower. Good! in time, there might be more like you. Catholic dictators are vastly underrated.

2. You get offered the sign of peace by someone near you, in a very dignified way. The poor chap (or chapess) is clearly suffering, too. Give him the hand as you would at a funeral. Let him know you feel his pain, so that he can feel yours. Offer it up to God. He will probably do the same.

3. You get offered the “sign of peace” by some aspiring Florence Nightingale (again, of either sex) thinking she is rescuing you from your miserable existence full of conflict and quarrel and transporting you in the Wonderful World Of Peace. Repay her with the same money, returning her handshake with such compassionate transport as to let her look like Gekko on a bad day; pay attention that your eyes and your entire facial expression exude Unspeakable Cosmic Goodness, and always remember to “make the roof” with your eyebrows: assuming the wounded and suffering, but sympathetic expression of Charity Confronted With Disgrace. You might have to practice a bit in front of the mirror, but “the roof” can be mastered pretty well if you are an eager student.

So, that was it with my little suggestions. Take them as you please, and practice them as much as you like.

If anyone should complain of your lack of sensitivity (point 1) or exaggerated zeal (point 3) act as follows:

1. Become extremely “hurt” and “wounded”.

2. Make sure everyone around you notice.

3. Go on until the offender apologises. Mercilessly, and with true “wounded bitch” passive-aggressive attitude. Then assume the convalescing expression of the one who might never get rid of the scar, but will – now that apologies were made – start to “heal” the wound. Possibly. And very slowly, anyway.

The Triduum is coming. You may have some need for these little skills.

Mundabor

 

Posted on April 14, 2014, in Catholicism, Conservative Catholicism, Traditional Catholicism and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. ladyofquality | April 14, 2014 at 5:33 pm

    Oh, how I love the Traditional Latin Mass!!!!!!!! I still cringe sometimes when, in the Latin Missal, that portion arrives. Yes, I’ve been traumatized, but I’m recovering.

    PS I like #1. Tee hee.

    • Mundabor | April 14, 2014 at 6:59 pm

      In the real Tridentine you should not have it, I think it has been abolished centuries ago.

      In a Novus Ordo Mass in Latin you might have it, or not as the case may be (it’s like the washing of feet at Maundy Thursday: not obligatory).

      M

    • ladyofquality | April 16, 2014 at 4:29 pm

      Oh, we don’t! I just cringe remembering it, when the breaking of the host portion happens, and the priest says ‘Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum’ and we respond ‘et cum spiritu tuo,’ I believe that’s where, in the NO, the wonderful peace-joy-happiness occurs, to distract us from that silly Eucharist stuff, and get us back to our pastoral fellowship with others. Ya know.

  2. bobzdylan | April 14, 2014 at 6:38 pm

    Holy Greetings, Brother Mundabor!

    In this Holy Week wherein we contemplate and desire to live in both conformity and in the Spirit of Christ’s Passion, Suffering & Resurrection, may I offer you my heartfelt & sincere gratitude for your service to Christ & Church!

    To that end, this week – daily – I will offer for the benefit of your soul ten Our Fathers & ten Hail Marys.

    Blessings!

    • Mundabor | April 14, 2014 at 7:02 pm

      Many thanks, Sir! An excellent, most appreciated gift!

      I am very much afraid too often people forget we bloggers are wretched sinners as everyone else, and in need of prayer like everyone else.

      Prayer is, I think, the most beautiful way one can express his appreciation for this little effort.

      I see it as a heavenly savings account. Please, keep depositing;) One day I will have need for the funds!

      M

  3. Richard Eaton Freeman | April 14, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    Hard to believe that any fan of Mundabor would ever be caught dead at a Novus Ordo Mass. The Sign of Peace is, of course, a destroyer of true peace just as all the busy-about -the-altar “participation” of the Novus Ordo is anathema to genuine participation. The Church is full of frauds these days, one must learn to recognize and abominate them.

    • Mundabor | April 14, 2014 at 8:30 pm

      You are more realist than the King, Sir.
      Without being the King, I regularly attend to NO Masses.
      This site is a Traditionalist one, but in no way “rad trad”. I have written often on this, so feel free to search the blog.
      If you are disappointed, I will give you my most sensitive answer:
      Tough.
      M

  4. doncurlyhorne | April 14, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    My tactic is to stay firmly planted to my spot, if there is anyone within grasping distance, usually one or two, I submit, and otherwise a sort of Queen like wave suffices. Although I am spending more and more time at my local SSPX chapel these days where it isn’t a problem.

  5. Lepanto (@Oremus27) | April 14, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    I recently decided not to participate. I held my right hand with my left and just nodded at those who approached with a slight smile. None seemed to be offended and one looked sympathetically at my hands, assuming, I suppose, that some injury or illness prevented my participation. I may make a habit of this and then the regulars might just leave me alone because of my ‘injured’ hand.

  6. Mrs. Maureen Avila | April 14, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    I like the Korean NO for the peace sign; each person places the palms of his hands together as for prayer, then they bow politely and silently to the persons near them in the pews.

    The most effective way to stop the NO peace sign in the USA seems to be threat of epidemic and therefore threat of law suits. Germs are spread by touch so especially in winter when flue
    virus and colds and coughing abounds, it is good to call the rectory or approach the pastor or parish staff and tell them of the illness you contracted at Mass and explain the inconvenience, loss of work or daily activities, and medical expenses this caused you. When you do have a cold , re-use your sloppy tissue then cough, sneeze and blow your nose as obviously as possible, instants before ” ..sign of peace” is announced.

  7. marykpkj | April 15, 2014 at 2:44 am

    My favorite bit: Charity Confronted with Disgrace. Oh, how I wish I had thought of that in the past. I won’t forget now….

  8. twoheartswa | April 15, 2014 at 3:19 am

    I go on my knees and lower my head which sends the message. Normally I have my two sons on both my sides who do the same, so they act like buffer. However, if somebody from the pew in front of us insists on giving the hand, I follow the step 2 (sort of).

  9. donnaliane72 | April 15, 2014 at 4:00 am

    A bit pathetic but I just sit at the back away from everyone. Then I fix my gaze firmly on Jesus so I don’t notice any ‘peace waves’.

  10. Genty | April 15, 2014 at 9:18 am

    I raise my hand with palm outwards which can be construed as a greeting or as a “Police. Stop.” gesture. Most get it; the majority seem relieved. The diehards who insist on leaving their seats to try to force the issue (mostly middle-aged women, it must be said) are, thankfully, few. I wait until Mass is about to start when most are in place and try to calculate where there will be the least interference.

  11. marykpkj | April 17, 2014 at 3:10 am

    twoheartswa, I think it’s funny that you need ‘bouncers’ at Mass! I’ve used my two sons the same way. And it works. 😉